...And Ye Shall Be Healed: A Short Story (first draft)

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Re: ...And Ye Shall Be Healed: A Short Story (excerpt)

Postby Brian » Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:51 pm

A friend of mine noticed a plot hole. I had to fix it to give Cari more time out so Dave could have time to deal with the faith healers and fall asleep.
"I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower
About the things you could not show her."

-- Counting Crows, "A Long December"
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Brian
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Re: ...And Ye Shall Be Healed: A Short Story (excerpt)

Postby Saint » Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:34 pm

LOL! Writing is fun, isn't it? I'm going to make time today to work on my book as well.
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Re: ...And Ye Shall Be Healed: A Short Story (excerpt)

Postby Brian » Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am

Decided to post the whole thing on here, to get opinions. I think that's okay, because you need a password to get in. Someone told me once that if you need a password, it's not "public", and thus not considered "published".

Anyway, give it a read and let me know what you think.
"I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower
About the things you could not show her."

-- Counting Crows, "A Long December"
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Brian
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Posts: 1913
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 10:02 pm

Re: ...And Ye Shall Be Healed: A Short Story (first draft)

Postby Brian » Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:15 pm

Made another little change towards the end. The meal Cari gets Dave is a Value Meal, not a Happy Meal. The Happy Meal is the kids' version. :)
"I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower
About the things you could not show her."

-- Counting Crows, "A Long December"
User avatar
Brian
Site Admin
 
Posts: 1913
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 10:02 pm

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