You Might Be a Republican If...

You Might Be a Republican If...

Postby Saint » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:20 pm

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
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Re: You Might Be a Republican If...

Postby Marie5656 » Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:44 pm

Good one, Saint :goodpost:
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Re: You Might Be a Republican If...

Postby Boba » Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:48 pm

You Might Be A Democrat If...

•You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
•You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
•You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
•You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
•You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
•You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
•You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
•You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
•You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
•You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
•You've never been mugged.
•You actually expect to collect Social Security.
•You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
•You think the Great Society has actually worked.
•You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
•You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
•You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
•Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
•You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
•Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
•You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
•You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
•You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
•You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
•You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
•You know at least one Vegan.
•You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
•You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
•You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
•You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
•You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
•You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
•You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
•You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
•You admire the Swedish welfare system.
•You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
•You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
•You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
•After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
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Re: You Might Be a Republican If...

Postby Librtyhead » Fri Sep 24, 2010 8:37 pm

You forgot a predisposed position of denial Boba. :dontknow:
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Re: You Might Be a Republican If...

Postby Millennium » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:49 am

No such thing as a "good" Democrat.....They are the infected sore on the ass of America.

You might be a Democrat if you have no sense of values, think someone else should pay your bills, Go out and screw most any deadbeat that's give you a good time, and then expect the rest of us to support your sorry ass, Kill children in the name of "it's my body and I can do what I want"

The best?...They'll take you to court for "disposing" of an unwanted pet, but will annihilate a fetus, because they have the right. Some standard.
Confessing to be a democrat now is a plea for help......
Save America, IMPEACH OBAMA! And continue tossing out the deadbeat Democrats that are currently in office.
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