Sharing

Sharing

Postby Cynicalninja » Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:56 pm

When a child says "No I don't want to share and you can't make me!", they are a spoiled brat.

When an adult says "No I don't want to share and you can't make me!", they are a Republican.
Space to let for non-antagonistic signature.
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Re: Sharing

Postby Boba » Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:13 pm

Posted on the old board, but it just seemed appropriate:

>I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she
>grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
>
>
>
> Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked
> her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
>
>
>
> She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
>
>
>
> Her parents beamed.
>
>
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> "Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until
> you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the
> lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take
> you over to the grocery store where homeless guys hang out, and you can
> give them the $50 you earned, to use toward food and a new house."
>
>
>
> She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in
> the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the
> work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
>
>
>
> I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
>
>
>
> Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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Re: Sharing

Postby Millennium » Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:19 pm

One of my favs:

You Might Be A Democrat If...

* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
* You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
* You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
* You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
* You've never been mugged.
* You actually expect to collect Social Security.
* You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
* You think the Great Society has actually worked.
* You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
* You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
* You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
* Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
* You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
* Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
* You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
* You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
* You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
* You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
* You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
* You know at least one Vegan.
* You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
* You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
* You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
* You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
* You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
* You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
* You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
* You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
* You admire the Swedish welfare system.
* You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
* You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
* You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
Save America, IMPEACH OBAMA! And continue tossing out the deadbeat Democrats that are currently in office.
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Re: Sharing

Postby Boba » Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:37 pm

...And along the same lines....

You Might Be A Democrat If
You think "ethics" is an eastern European country.
You've named your kids with hyphenated first and last names.
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were only willing to redistribute their wealth.
You've ever referred to someone as a "bigot or Nazi".
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a married man.
You oppose the death penalty, but support abortion.
You don't support school choice for others, only for yourself.
You think you might remember laughing once as an adult and feeling guilty about it.
You once broke loose at a party and inhaled, but don't admit it.
You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.
You've referred to moral fiber thinking it was a new man made textile.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "you hypocrite".
You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".
You answer to "No One".
You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and wear leather garments.
You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.
You only let your kids watch PBS and listen to NPR.
You scream at the thought of agreeing with a Republican.
You've argued that Western values are no values.
You agree that all the world's problems can be traced back to white Anglo-Saxon men taking advantage of others.
When people say "Marx," you think, "to bad his idea didn't work".
You've ever yelled, "capitalist".
You still wear the Birkenstocks you purchased in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 laws to control guns.
You really think that guns kill people. Not people kill people.
You want to protest something but don't know what.
You've ever said "I support civil liberties, but not personal liberties."
You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.
You've ever said "reduce paper, save a tree".
You donate money because it makes you "feel good".
You came of age in the '60s and don't understand what went wrong.
You justify lying cheating Democrats because Republicans lie and cheat.
You ever start or end an argument on the phrase, "you are closed minded".
You never told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can" because he chooses to do so.
You think denial is a virtue.
You don't mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the government. You're only sorry it can't be more.
You believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you.
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